Getting Even: Making the Most of Your Asymmetrical Breasts

January 17th, 2015 @ Amber

Having breasts that are two different sizes is pretty common, however it’s a little less common to have a difference of 1 or more cup sizes. I’ve been graced with asymmetrical boobs for my entire life, even through puberty as an adolescent. I had been told things like “oh don’t worry, things will even out eventually”. Guess what? They didn’t. But what no one told me, was that was perfectly okay! Things, including breasts, might not always even out, but thats perfectly normal and fine too. I wish someone had told me that. The false sense of “things will get better” or “your boobs will catch up by the time you’re done with puberty” were not exceptionally helpful or useful tools for me. If anything, all they did was leave me disappointed and feeling awkward, when it became clear that no, my boobs, would NOT be “evening out”. The only evening out these babies get is when I go out without a bra! Treat them to dinner, or a movie and a show, you know? It took me awhile to accept my boobs, uneven bits of flesh as they are, but it’s finally gotten to the point where I’m okay with it. When life hands you two different sized boobs, make lemonade!

What I really mean is emotional lemonade. I mean, if you want real lemonade, go right ahead, enjoy! Squeeze those lemons, girl! But what I’m referring to is a nice tall refreshing glass of self acceptance for yourself, your boobs, and your sanity. Boobs are boobs. Small, big, perky, uneven, totally symmetrical, augmented, reduced, removed, etc. They’re yours, and you should be rocking them in the most comfortable and most confident way that you can. So take hold of all of those crappy comments you heard about your uneven-ness (even if you’re one of the ones who said them!) and put them in a tumbler and juice it. Give yourself a nice emotional cleanse. No, not the Master Cleanse. I know I’m talking about lemons, but I promise I won’t ask you to add hot pepper and maple syrup. When life gives us what is does, and mother nature gives us what she’s going to, and our genes have had their say, how we choose to deal with it is all up to us. So when you feel those insecurities about your body creep up, make yourself some sassy I-Love-Me refreshment. Good for the soul, and the boobs. This rule applies to all body insecurities by the way, I’m just talking about one of the insecurities thats plagued me for awhile now. My boobs are about a full cup size difference between them.

Accepting your boobs is the first step. Then comes fitting them properly. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried on a bra that I loved, only to have it fit my large breast perfectly, but end up too loose on my smaller boob. Drats. What a feeling. Totally deflates (literally) my confidence sometimes. With a few simple rules (I say rules, but they’re really just tips) you can dress those babies like queens and create your own customized fit for your size difference.

1. Always fit your bra to the larger boob. Seriously. You need at least one breast to be fully supported and fit well, otherwise you’ll have one cup possibly spilling over, and could even cause tissue migration of the breast tissue. Kind of like when you’re making soup, you can always add extra spices, but you can’t take them out. So start with fitting that larger boob properly, making sure it fits well in the cup, that the gore is sitting at your sternum and that the band is snug yet comfy. You can always change things up/add extra spice if you need to later.

2. Adjust those straps! If you have two different sized boobs, it only makes sense that you’ll need to adjust the bra straps in different lengths to help support each boob. I tend to tighten the strap on my smaller breast, which can give the boob in the smaller cup a more lifted and fitted look. It might take some practice to get the right bra strap ratio, but you’re a smart girl, and you’ll be a pro in no time!

3. Whether you have big or small boobs, an underwire can help with asymmetry as underwire cups offer more support than bralettes or soft cup bras. The added lift and support from an underwire can make things look a bit more even.

4. You can also buy inserts. Chicken cutlets basically, or bra pads. As a teen, I used to use bunched up kleenex or a shoulder pad. (I was a teen product of the 90’s – early 00’s, so give me a break) Today there are all sorts of good inserts! You can insert one into the cup of the smaller breast, fit under your boob, to help give a more even appearance in your bra and cleavage. This is totally optional. But it’s definitely something to consider if you want the option. I would suggest Commando Cleavage Cupcakes or Takeouts, which are silicone inserts. There are also foam and poly pads. Just Google search “bra inserts” and you’ll find a variety of choices.

5. Makeup. Not just for contouring those cheekbones! You can airbrush or use a darker concealer or bronzer powder on your cleavage and d├ęcolletage to give a shadowed appearance, especially helpful in low cut tops or when strutting around in your bra in front of a mirror singing to your favorite song. There are plenty of makeup tutorials on YouTube that can show you what I mean.

See, what I mean? Total lemonade. Your boobs are awesome. They’re part of you. They’re uneven, but who cares? Certainly not JLaw! Nor I. So join the lemonade club and squeeze that sour self-deprecating boob situation into a delish one. To all those broken promises of even breasts that we would someday grow into, for all of those pitying “your boobs could still grow” pats on the back…stop the madness. We’re fine the way we are, different sized breasts and all. Quit acting as if our boobs worth are dependent on their size, or shape, density or symmetry. We don’t need to get even. We just need to get juicing.

*No lemons were harmed in the making of this post.

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